Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Week 3 weigh-in
Another visit from the health visitor today, and Oren now weighs 9lbs 1.5oz. The health visitor was very pleased with his weight gain, and said that he was looking well and had beautiful skin :o)
Sunday, 22 June 2008
First Bottle!
MummyB had finally managed to express some milk for BabyB... so today DaddyB finally was able to give Oren his first bottle!
Oren ate it all very quickly, a full 4oz, DaddyB was very surprised!
Oren ate it all very quickly, a full 4oz, DaddyB was very surprised!
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
Our first solo walk
MummyB took Oren for a walk today through Ashton, it was their first walk together on their own.
Oren was very excited to be going out in the pram to start with - giving MummyB a big smile....
MummyB and Oren walked up to West Lodge, and then back home again, only a slow, short walk of about 20 mins - but nice and pleasant in the sun.
Oren was very excited to be going out in the pram to start with - giving MummyB a big smile....
MummyB and Oren walked up to West Lodge, and then back home again, only a slow, short walk of about 20 mins - but nice and pleasant in the sun.
Weigh-in 3
Another visit from the health visitor today... Oren is continuing to amaze MummyB by putting on more & more weight! Today he came in at 8 lbs 6oz , what a little monster!
Monday, 16 June 2008
Baby Gym!
Mummy & DaddyB had noticed how much awake time Oren has started having, and how he is now so interested in learning about the world around him. So they decided to go out and buy Oren a baby gym so that he would have something to look at, which would help him learn, as well as providing him with a nice area where he can have a bit of tummy time, or just time chilling out.
Mummy & DaddyB spent a while looking for the right baby gym and they finally chose one which they are very happy with, and which Oren seems to like too!
Oren now gets a bit of time every day with the gym and likes looking in the mirror and at all the different colours.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Another weigh-in...
Today the health visitor came to see MummyB & Oren.
She said Oren is 'perfect' which was a lovely thing to hear :o)
She also weighed Oren, and he has gained more weight in the last two days!! Oren now weighs 7lbs 13oz - so has gained an oz a day in the last 2 days! At this rate he is going to be a big boy!!
She said Oren is 'perfect' which was a lovely thing to hear :o)
She also weighed Oren, and he has gained more weight in the last two days!! Oren now weighs 7lbs 13oz - so has gained an oz a day in the last 2 days! At this rate he is going to be a big boy!!
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
MummyB & Oren's First Solo Outing!
MummyB & Oren went out on their own for the first time today. MummyB was a bit nervous without having DaddyB there as back-up!
MummyB & Oren went to Tesco to buy a couple of things.
Of course, the second MummyB put Oren in his car seat he threw up everywhere! So he has to be changed again before going out... but then Oren slept nearly the whole time, he only woke up on the journey home again because he was a bit hungry.
MummyB is still healing, so the outing caused her stitches quite a lot of pain, so when she got back home, she had to spend the afternoon laying down!
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
Oren's Weigh-in!
Margaret the midwife came to visit MummyB & Oren today, and brought her scales with her so we could find out whether Oren had lost any weight since he was born...
Everyone was very surprised to find out that Oren had gained 8oz in the 10 days since he was born!! His weight is now 7lbs 11oz - wow!!! Breastfeeding is obviously working well for Oren!!
Everyone was very surprised to find out that Oren had gained 8oz in the 10 days since he was born!! His weight is now 7lbs 11oz - wow!!! Breastfeeding is obviously working well for Oren!!
Saturday, 7 June 2008
Oren's first week!
Oren came home with us on the 1st June, arriving in Ashton at about 9pm.
Oren has also been on his first shopping trip...
Had his first bath...
Eaten lots of Mummy's milk...
There were a crowd of people in the Chequered Skipper who all were expecting our arrival home, and so we briefly popped in to introduce the new arrival! DaddyB thinks that this will make a great story for BabyB when he is older - at 23 hours old he had already been to a pub!
Since he has been home, Oren has done a lot of sleeping... as has Mummy!
Oren has also been on his first shopping trip...
Out for a short cross country jaunt in his pram...
Had his first picnic...
Had his first bath...
Eaten lots of Mummy's milk...
Met his Beaumont family...
Had a LOT of nappies changed...
Had another picnic and met some friends...
...and generally has just been showing off how cute he is!
Friday, 6 June 2008
June 1st the story continues
This is events that followed the birth of Oren.
Oren was wrapped in blankets and placed on the cot used straight after birth. I was still focused on Oren and waiting impatiently for what i thought would take place next i.e. him being weighed mummy being moved to a bed the three of us together etc etc
Mummy had been moved from the pool to the bed in the active birth room and was being attended to by Eileen. I was merrily taking pics of Oren when i realised steph was in background and ob in alot of pain and Eileen was being very attentive. Once i realised this i went over to sit with her and find out what was happening.
I felt quite guilty at this point for almost seeming to forget about her for a few minutes.
Eileen explained that she had torn during delivery and she would get somebody to sort her out as soon as possible. We just sat there for the next 50mins or so gently talking but mainly with steph trying to put a brave face on when she was obviously in a lot of pain. Eileen then returned to explain that someone would be with her soon but they couldnt stitch her for at least an hour as she had been in the pool. Was feeling quite out of sorts at this time as nothing seemed to be way i thought it would. I didnt even remember to question when Oren would be weighed checked etc etc
Next couple of hours are a bit of a blur and i am struggling to recall more than the fact Steph was in lot of pain very uncomfortable on what was basically a pallet getting more and more distressed. Tried bringing her Oren but she was in to much pain to even enjoy that. Periodically i went to try and see what was happening, and for me stayed very calm as inside i was churning!!
Finally we were moved back to the room we were originally in, there was bit of a cafuffle putting up the stirrups and they were quite rough and harsh getting steph in them. Kim introduced herself as the senior on ward who would be doing the stiching and i wasnt impressed with the attitude of either her or the other woman at the time. They proceeded to cover steph in clothes etc etc and get the light in right place and when Kim settled down to stitch steph a definate change of attitude took place as it became apparent she was quite shocked with amount of work to be done.(later she stated that it was the most repair work she had had to do in years!!
She started to try and numb Steph to be able to start the stitching she used a complete vial of 10ml and it seemed to have little or no effect. At this point steph really was quite distressed chugging on gas and air which seemed to be having no effect. Kim's attitude really had chnaged and she was obviously determined having kept steph waiting so long she was going to the best job she could. 20ml more lanocaine was used and partiale numbness was achieved. Im not sure how much steph heard or was aware but Kim and I were talking in hushed voices as she explaine dsteph had 4 tears, both labia were torn and her perineum was torn inside and out and in a Y shape. She said she was going to stitch everything even though labia wernt often stitched but by stitching they would be exactly as they were before.
She very patiently did her work, stopping and checking on steph frequently, nearly 2 hours later she finished!! steph was still in alot of pain but obvious relief it was over. we were then left quietly. ABout an hour after i had chased them a couple of time another lady joined us and weighed Oren, then she had to clean him as in the 6 odd hours since he had been born he had had a poo! 7lb 3oz was his weight. Steph was laying on her side at this point as only position with even vague sense of being comfortable in. she was surprised that nobody had covered breast feeding with steph or even fact nothing at all had been done with him. She then very quickly latched him on whilst steph was on her side. I doubt steph learned much in that instance.
By this point i was absolutely drained so rest is bit of a blur we were taken to the ward all i could think was i couldnt stay so no sooner did we get to the ward than i left steph to it although i do remember us agreeing i wasnt going to rush in morning to get there when visiting started at 10.
I then prompty drove home very slowly and fell alseep.
Oren was wrapped in blankets and placed on the cot used straight after birth. I was still focused on Oren and waiting impatiently for what i thought would take place next i.e. him being weighed mummy being moved to a bed the three of us together etc etc
Mummy had been moved from the pool to the bed in the active birth room and was being attended to by Eileen. I was merrily taking pics of Oren when i realised steph was in background and ob in alot of pain and Eileen was being very attentive. Once i realised this i went over to sit with her and find out what was happening.
I felt quite guilty at this point for almost seeming to forget about her for a few minutes.
Eileen explained that she had torn during delivery and she would get somebody to sort her out as soon as possible. We just sat there for the next 50mins or so gently talking but mainly with steph trying to put a brave face on when she was obviously in a lot of pain. Eileen then returned to explain that someone would be with her soon but they couldnt stitch her for at least an hour as she had been in the pool. Was feeling quite out of sorts at this time as nothing seemed to be way i thought it would. I didnt even remember to question when Oren would be weighed checked etc etc
Next couple of hours are a bit of a blur and i am struggling to recall more than the fact Steph was in lot of pain very uncomfortable on what was basically a pallet getting more and more distressed. Tried bringing her Oren but she was in to much pain to even enjoy that. Periodically i went to try and see what was happening, and for me stayed very calm as inside i was churning!!
Finally we were moved back to the room we were originally in, there was bit of a cafuffle putting up the stirrups and they were quite rough and harsh getting steph in them. Kim introduced herself as the senior on ward who would be doing the stiching and i wasnt impressed with the attitude of either her or the other woman at the time. They proceeded to cover steph in clothes etc etc and get the light in right place and when Kim settled down to stitch steph a definate change of attitude took place as it became apparent she was quite shocked with amount of work to be done.(later she stated that it was the most repair work she had had to do in years!!
She started to try and numb Steph to be able to start the stitching she used a complete vial of 10ml and it seemed to have little or no effect. At this point steph really was quite distressed chugging on gas and air which seemed to be having no effect. Kim's attitude really had chnaged and she was obviously determined having kept steph waiting so long she was going to the best job she could. 20ml more lanocaine was used and partiale numbness was achieved. Im not sure how much steph heard or was aware but Kim and I were talking in hushed voices as she explaine dsteph had 4 tears, both labia were torn and her perineum was torn inside and out and in a Y shape. She said she was going to stitch everything even though labia wernt often stitched but by stitching they would be exactly as they were before.
She very patiently did her work, stopping and checking on steph frequently, nearly 2 hours later she finished!! steph was still in alot of pain but obvious relief it was over. we were then left quietly. ABout an hour after i had chased them a couple of time another lady joined us and weighed Oren, then she had to clean him as in the 6 odd hours since he had been born he had had a poo! 7lb 3oz was his weight. Steph was laying on her side at this point as only position with even vague sense of being comfortable in. she was surprised that nobody had covered breast feeding with steph or even fact nothing at all had been done with him. She then very quickly latched him on whilst steph was on her side. I doubt steph learned much in that instance.
By this point i was absolutely drained so rest is bit of a blur we were taken to the ward all i could think was i couldnt stay so no sooner did we get to the ward than i left steph to it although i do remember us agreeing i wasnt going to rush in morning to get there when visiting started at 10.
I then prompty drove home very slowly and fell alseep.
Thursday, 5 June 2008
Birth Story - Mummy's Perspective
So, this is what happened from my perspective and memory...
On Thursday 29th May I woke up in the morning to find that I was starting to have my 'show'. No other signs that labour was imminent, but both Daddy and I were very excited, and spent most of the day waiting to see if every twinge turned into something...
Woke up on Friday 30th May, and had a very big show, which kept coming for the rest of the day. I spent the morning pretty much sat down on the computer and watching daytime tv. By 11am I was having very mild contractions, and was trying to work out whether they were Braxton Hicks or something else. I drank a fair amount of Raspberry Leaf Tea that morning, as generally that strengthened the contractions and being 3 days overdue by this point, I was keen for things to start happening.
Mild contractions continued for the rest of the morning & early afternoon, but were very mild. I worked out that they weren't Braxton Hicks because these contractions started with pains in my back first, it was hard to get excited though because they kept starting and stopping.
By late afternoon I was frustrated at the lack of progress, so I went outside and washed my car! DaddyB was home by about 6pm and by that time, I was sat on the sofa having fairly regular though still mild contractions. These continued for the next few hours. DaddyB went to the pub for an hour and I sat at home watching tv and bouncing on my ball, which was more comfortable than the sofa. Daddy came back home and while we were watching 'Britains Got Talent' I noticed that the contractions were getting stronger - still not very painful but definitely much more noticeable and definable.
I took some paracetamol and we went to bed at 10.30pm. I was hoping I might be able to get a few hours sleep before real labour kicked off, as I was certain that it was on its way to happen now. Laid in bed though, the strength of the contractions picked up so that I was really focusing on breathing to get through them, and squeezing the duvet during them.
At various points in the night, Daddy timed the contractions to see how long they were lasting and how far apart they were. When they were getting pretty strong, and about 5 minutes apart, he rang the hospital for advice. They just told us to rest at home and when the contractions became so unbearable so that I wanted pain relief, to go in.
About 90 minutes after this phonecall (about 2am) I was finding the contractions pretty painful,they were coming between 3 - 4 minutes apart, and I only found them manageable by standing up or kneeling up again something for support. I was certain that I was in early labour, and deperately didnt want to go to the hospital to get told to go home again. However, I was finding it hard, and I felt that I needed to know how far along I was. I think because I was tired that I was a bit worked up, and I just didnt feel safe where I was.
So Dean rang the Delivery Suite and said we wanted to come in for a check. We arrived at Hinchingbrooke at about 3.15am. My contractions slowed down in frequency on the drive over, so that they were every 5 minutes.
The midwife we were met by at the Delivery Suite, I didnt really bond with. I found her a bit patronising and sceptical. We were put in a room and she did the usual checks. I had a couple of contractions while I was there, but they had slowed dramatically in terms of their frequency. She checked to see if I was dilated, and I was absolutely gutted when she checked me and said that I was only 2cm, and so not even in active labour yet! She told us to go for a walk around the hospital for half an hour. So Dean and I walked the circuit of the 1st floor which wasnt very big but took us a while, as every time I got a contraction I had to stop. They were very strong at this point.
We went back to the room and the midwife told me to rest, gave me some paracetamol and said to try and get a bit of sleep. I was feeling really down, starting to panic that if this was only pre-labour, how on earth was I going to cope when it kicked off properly? I was worried that Dean might think I was a total whimp and I just felt a bit let down by myself.
At about 6am the midwife came back and said that because I wasnt in active labour that it was better if I moved off the delivery suite. So my options were either to go back home or to go onto another ward and wait for it to kick in, but Dean wouldnt be able to stay with me. There was no way in the world I wanted to be sat in a room on my own, or on a ward with a load of other people while I was going through early labour. I said I would go home, and midwife said to 'come back when the contractions were closer together and were stronger'. She almost sounded amused at the way she said this and it didnt really help my feelings of despondancy about not being able to cope. We drove home and went to bed to try and get some sleep.
I found it almost impossible to sleep as everytime i dropped off, I was woken up by a very painful contraction. I was still feeling low and had a bit of a cry.
Between about 9-10am we were woken up by the front door bell, as our friends' son who we pay to mow the grass had arrived. Dean went downstairs for a while to sort him out and do some other things. He came back up a while later and just sat with me as I was having contractions. At this point I wasnt sure what he was thinking as I thought he might just be narked at having lost a nights sleep for no reason. I was really low at this point of the labour and just felt like I was failing at it.
At about 11am while Im laid on the bed, half naked, having contractions our grass mower boy came upstairs to use the loo, and then came to the door to have a conversation with Dean about getting a drink. I was pretty upset that I wasnt having the privacy which I felt I needed.
I got up at about midday and went downstairs for some lunch. Dean tried suggesting things which he thought might help me, and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed, and we tried to go around the garden but i didnt feel comfortable doing that, as our neighbours were in their back gardens and I just didnt want people to see me moaning in pain!
So we decided to drive up to Ashton Manor House to have a wander through the gardens there. Of course, on the way we ran into two more people that we knew and wanted to stop to talk. I was beginning to think that everyone in Ashton would have seen me in the undignified throes of labour before it was all over!
We walked around the manor house, though of course kept having to stop for me to clutch to Dean for support during the contractions. I did get a bit upset again at this point.
I had also been getting, throughout labour a pain which went all the way down my right leg, and was constant and made walking difficult. It was like a constant leg cramp and almost more painful than the contractions themselves. The worst thing about the leg pain was that it was constant, while at least the contractions came and went!
We went back home. Dean went outside to talk to lawn mower boy who was back to finish the lawn. While he was gone I had 3 very very strong contractions in the living room. The only position I felt at all manageable in, was kneeling over the sofa. I was so relieved when Dean walked back into the house as I felt I needed constant support at this point. I think Dean must have realised how difficult I was finding it, as he went to ring the hospital without telling me. The midwife (a different one this time) again said if I wanted to go in I could. I was so scared of being sent home again that I just didnt want to. Dean suggested that I take a bath first and the midwife said to try that and call back in an hour.
Dean ran the bath and as I sat in it, the contractions kept coming in waves. They were pretty overwhelming - they didnt feel particularly stronger than before but I didnt feel like I was getting much space between them. Between them, I was also trying to deal with the constant growing pain in my leg. Dean came and sat in the bathroom with me, and timed the contractions. The timings were generally about 3 - 4 minutes apart, with the contractions lasting for about a minute. However, I was also getting some shorter intermittent contractions, so there still didnt seem to be a pattern. Because of this, I was convinced that I had probably only dilated to about 3cm, and needed to hold out a while longer.
Dean decided to ring the hospital again, I dont think I was very communicative at this point as I was just concentrating on breathing through the contractions. They really felt like someone was squeezing me around my tummy and lower back - it was pretty intense. All I kept saying to Dean was that I didn't 'want to have to be sent home again'.
Dean spoke to the midwife, and the midwife could obviously also hear the noise I was making during the contractions. She got the information from Dean about the timings of my contractions, and from that she thought that I was still in early labour, and possibly just unfortunately having a particularly difficult & painful early labour. She suggested that I was taken in for a morphine injection, which would either stop the labour or speed it up and kick-start active labour, and either way, I would have some relief from the pain and time to gain my energy (I had been having contractions for 24 hours at this point!)
Dean helped me out of the bath and to the car. The contractions continued to come every 3 minutes, so it took a while to be able to get there. All the way to the hospital the contractions continued to come. It was incredibly painful in the car, sitting down was about the worst possible position. Every time one came I was lifting myself off the seat in pain, and I knew I was making a lot of noise but couldnt help it! I was also worrying between contractions about how on earth I was going to get from the car to the delivery suite, as it is a fair walk.
We pulled up in the car park and started to walk towards the hospital entrance. We were within sight of the entrance when a contraction started. I felt like a complete cliche as I was stood clinging onto Dean, trying to breath my way through this contraction. I could see an ambulance driver had come out of A&E and had spotted me, and he yelled at us that he would get a chair, and then he rushed off. Another man walked past and asked Dean if he wanted a hand to get me inside. Luckily the ambulance man appeared with a wheelchair, loaded me into it, and proceeded to take us the quick 'staff only' short cut through A&E. As my next contraction started he was cheerfully shouting 'Breathe through it, remember your antenatal classes!' and then was asking Dean how far apart the contractions were, and he cheerfully replied that it sounds like we were well on our way.
He 'drove' me to the lift, and then he had to get back to his ambulance, so he left Dean to push the chair the last section to Delivery Suite. When we got out of the lift on the first floor though, I told Dean that I wanted to get out of the chair because I didnt want to arrive looking like a whimp when I was still only in pre-labour. So we abandoned the wheelchair and I walked the last couple of corridors to Delivery.
When we got there, a lady at reception showed us straight into a room. Funnily enough, it was the room which we had seen when we had taken a tour of the Delivery Suite. It was a lovely big room with an en suite (only 2 rooms on Delivery had en suite so we were very lucky).
My memory of exactly what happened in what order here is a bit confused as I was having difficulty focusing on what was being said etc.
I remember Eileen coming in and introducing herself as my midwife. From the second she came in the door I really liked her, and felt really safe being with her. She saw me going through a couple of contractions and offered me gas and air for the pain. I accepted it as I felt I did need something to take the edge off. We showed her our birth plan and she said that everything on there was nice and straightforward, and there was no problem with me using the birthing pool, as soon as I was beyond 4cm dilated.
So Eileen then checked to see how dilated I was - I was so nervous because I was getting ready to be told that I was still only 2cm. But she checked, and then cheerfully said ' Oh my goodness, you are 5-6cm, definitely ready to go into the birthing pool!' I was sooooooooo relieved and surprised... although the gas and air was taking the edge off my contractions, they suddenly became a bit easier to deal with because I really felt my spirits rise knowing that I had been in active labour for a while, and I wasnt a complete whimp!
Eileen and Dean double checked with me that I still wanted to use the birthing pool. For a brief second I was very tempted to say that i just wanted an epidural instead! But I felt that I wanted to stick to my birth plan and at least give the pool a go - especially as I was very lucky that it was free and I had the option of using it.
Eileen went to run the birthing pool, which she said would take half an hour. She brought us some tea and biscuits to eat, and me a birthing ball to sit on (because I couldnt bear to be on the bed). Dean and I had a bit of light hearted conversation and he ate a sandwich which he had in his bag! and took some (very unflattering!) photos, I really did feel so much more light hearted knowing that I had progressed.
I was happily saying that at least this time, we would be leaving the hospital with a baby, and that it looked like he would either be born on the last day of May or the first day of June. I asked Dean when he thought he would arrive and he said he thought it would be after midnight, therefore, June 1st.
We had been joking with the midwife though, because she had said that she had only delivered girls that day, and if I had my baby before she went off shift (at 9.30pm) she would get a boy! As it was after 7pm when she said this, it didnt seem likely, and I remember being a little bit disappointed that this midwife who I liked so much, would not be the one to see the labour through.
I do also remember starting to tell Dean off a few times at this point - the main crime I remember is that he tried to talk to me during a contraction... so afterwards I made it clear that anything said during a contraction (other than 'breathe') I could not hear!
The half hour to fill the pool seemed to pass fairly quickly. The birthing pool was at the other end of the Delivery Suite, so I was helped to walk up the corridor. The relief at getting in the pool was immense, obviously the pain didnt go away, but I just felt so much more comfortable, which made a big difference to my calmness and ability to relax as much as possible through the contractions, which was crucial. Dean put my Milla Jovovich CD on, and between contractions, everything felt serene and calm.
Memories of my time in the pool are rather cloudy and muddled. I remember saying that I wanted to go to the toilet, and Dean calling the midwife back and her telling me that it was just the baby putting pressure on my bottom. I suddenly felt the contractions go to a new level, I didnt know whether Dean could tell that suddenly the pain was bigger than before, but I suddenly felt intuitively that the baby would be born fairly soon, and was mildly worried at any point that the midwife wasnt in the room.
Eileen came back in to listen to the babys heartbeat, and to check my progression again. Babys hearbeat was nice and strong. When she put on her long gloves to check my cervix, I was amazed when she announced that I was nearly 10 cm! She said there was just a tiny rim of cervix left, and then I would be fully dilated. It all seemed to have happened very quickly - indeed, i seemed to go from 5/6cm - 9/10cm in less than 2 hours.
I then remember people talking, and someone offering me a drink of juice. When i gave the juice back it wasnt Eileen or Dean I saw but someone else (I had my eyes closed a lot at this point, as I was focusing fairly strongly). This turned out to be Kim who had come to observe the water birth.
Suddenly the pressure in my bottom was immense and I felt it build up massively, and suddenly there was this explosion. It really sounded like something had exploded underwater - and it really did feel like huge pop inside of me - of course which was my waters breaking.
The pressure in my bottom initially eased when my waters went, but then got much stronger after this. After a while though the contractions changed, and they werent really contractions anymore - I couldnt tell as easily where they began and ended. At this point Eileen told me it was time to start pushing. She told me to put away the gas and air for the pushing part -something I had not thought about when I decided to labour using just the pool and gas&air was that I wouldnt be able to use it during the pushing stage. Funnily though, at the time I didnt question her at all, she said to put it down and I just handed it over. I had complete faith in what she was telling me to do.
At this point though I decided I didnt want to push anymore, it was hurting so much and felt so strange. So there was a small debate between me and Eileen as I was telling her I didnt want to push anymore! Obviously though, she and Dean managed to get me going again!
Kim was holding a mirror in the pool so I could look down and see what was happening. When they could see his head start to appear, they were trying to get me to look - but that involved opening my eyes and I just couldnt do that, i needed them shut to try and focus and almost shut out everything which was going on!
I remember being told to look down though as his head was crowning, and being told that I needed to give another little push to free his chin, which was still stuck inside me. Looking down and seeing this little human head emerging from me was so bizarre, it was almost surreal.
Obviously everyone knew that a couple more big pushes and he would be free, so I did as I was told and really put my energies into it, despite the fact it went against every urge I had at that moment - it was hurting and burning so much.
It was bizarre the second he was born - the pain was massive, absolutely huge. But I was distracted by the sight of Eileen lifting the baby from the pool. The cord was round his neck I think, so there was a brief fumbling as she unravelled it and clamped it before passing him to me. Then there was this baby in my arms who looked huge to me! He was so quiet though, that all I could ask was 'is he ok' but Eileen seemed to think he was perfect. We had a couple of photos taken with him in the pool, and I was being told to keep his body underwater to keep him warm, but my head was buzzing and my body was really hurting.
Dean cut the cord, and then they took the baby away for checks and Dean went over with him to cuddle him etc.
They started emptying the pool, and saying that they needed to get me out to deliver the placenta. I was saying to Eileen that I was in a lot of pain and asking her 'Did I tear?' She said she didnt know, but she would check me to find out.
She and Kim helped me out of the pool and over the futon bed at the other side of the room. I was propped up with cushions with my legs open (but covered with a sheet) ready to be checked and deliver the placenta. The placenta was delivered very quickly, I was worried it was going to hurt, but with all the other pain i was in, it was over very quickly and I barely registered it.
Eileen checked me over, and told me that I did have some damage and tears which would need repair. She said she would go and find someone to do it. I was in a lot of pain, so she gave me the gas& air to use while I was waiting. At this point I was fairly low, because I was really hurting and I couldnt hold our baby properly or enjoy the moment. Dean was holding the baby for a while, then he put him down and came and just sat with me for a while, and then he asked me if I wanted to have the baby next to me, and so brought him over.
No one had been to do my stitches so I asked Dean to find out what was happening. Eileen came back after a while and told us that she had just been told that because I had had a water birth, they needed to wait for everything to dry out and so I needed to wait an hour before having my stitches done. Looking at the clock I had been waiting the best part of an hour already anyway, so I figured I could hold on a bit longer.
However, another hour went by and still no one had been to do my stitches. I was in so much pain, the gas&air was taking the edge off but that was all. I kept telling Dean how much it hurt, especially as I had also been left sat on this very uncomfortable futon bed, sat on my bottom. Dean kept going off to find people to ask, but there were so many other women giving birth, that I was placed as low priority on the list.
After three hours of waiting, someone finally came to take me to have my stitches done. I was supported to walk down the corridor to our orginal room. I was terrified at this point, as I was in immense pain, I was shaking as they put me in the stirrups. I was given gas& air again to use while they administered the injections to numb the area.
I tried to not listen to what they were saying as they were examining me. I had been told the tears were big and so i was going to be given a fair few injections. The lady sewing me up, Kim, started. After about 90 minutes she paused and started talking to me, saying that I had 4 tears, and she had just mended the two in my perineum, but I had two labial tears as well which she was going to start on. She was suggesting to us that my tears were some of the worst she had sutured, and she didnt normally need to use two suture packs on one persons injuries. I got very upset and emotional at this point, and was crying while Dean tried to console me and and Kim gave me a few minutes to recover. I just felt like a pin cushion, I now understood why it had hurt so much at the final pushing stage, i was angry they have left me for 3 hours in pain when I was so badly torn, I was upset that it felt like I had been denied of some of the pleasure of having a baby because I hadnt been able to hold my baby for 3 hours while I waited to be sewn.
She went to sew my least tears, but unfortunately the local injections werent 100% effective because the area is so full of nerve endings, so I was sucking on the gas&air as she sewed those tears up, because I could feel her sewing and it really hurt. When she said she had finished, I was so relieved, she gave me some painkillers, and I rolled onto my side to be more comfortable.
We still had to wait about another hour before someone came to weigh the baby (no one had done that yet!) or show me how to breastfeed. I was worried that I hadnt had enough skin-to-skin contact or breastfeed quickly enough after delivery. I finally felt able to relax when at about 4am, a care assistant came in and weighed the baby and gave him to me for some skin-to-skin contact. I finally was able to be close to our son. I felt that the ordeal was finally over, I was going to be transferred onto Hazel Ward for recovery, but I think I was probably already hoping that I would be able to go home soon.
SO thats the story… in retrospect the birth itself was an azamzing experience and I am so grateful to the 3 key people who were there supporting me – Dean, Eileen and Kim. They were all wonderful and through the last stages of labour, I felt as relaxed and supported as anyone could hope to be.
I was really sad that the immediate aftercare took away some of the joy of the experience, and it has certainly raised a lot of points of concern for me, in case of the next time we get pregnant.
Thankfully, regardless of some of the minor challenges, it hasnt affected my relationship with our son. He is a beautiful, lovely little individual and giving birth to him will probably be the proudest moment of my life.
On Thursday 29th May I woke up in the morning to find that I was starting to have my 'show'. No other signs that labour was imminent, but both Daddy and I were very excited, and spent most of the day waiting to see if every twinge turned into something...
Woke up on Friday 30th May, and had a very big show, which kept coming for the rest of the day. I spent the morning pretty much sat down on the computer and watching daytime tv. By 11am I was having very mild contractions, and was trying to work out whether they were Braxton Hicks or something else. I drank a fair amount of Raspberry Leaf Tea that morning, as generally that strengthened the contractions and being 3 days overdue by this point, I was keen for things to start happening.
Mild contractions continued for the rest of the morning & early afternoon, but were very mild. I worked out that they weren't Braxton Hicks because these contractions started with pains in my back first, it was hard to get excited though because they kept starting and stopping.
By late afternoon I was frustrated at the lack of progress, so I went outside and washed my car! DaddyB was home by about 6pm and by that time, I was sat on the sofa having fairly regular though still mild contractions. These continued for the next few hours. DaddyB went to the pub for an hour and I sat at home watching tv and bouncing on my ball, which was more comfortable than the sofa. Daddy came back home and while we were watching 'Britains Got Talent' I noticed that the contractions were getting stronger - still not very painful but definitely much more noticeable and definable.
I took some paracetamol and we went to bed at 10.30pm. I was hoping I might be able to get a few hours sleep before real labour kicked off, as I was certain that it was on its way to happen now. Laid in bed though, the strength of the contractions picked up so that I was really focusing on breathing to get through them, and squeezing the duvet during them.
At various points in the night, Daddy timed the contractions to see how long they were lasting and how far apart they were. When they were getting pretty strong, and about 5 minutes apart, he rang the hospital for advice. They just told us to rest at home and when the contractions became so unbearable so that I wanted pain relief, to go in.
About 90 minutes after this phonecall (about 2am) I was finding the contractions pretty painful,they were coming between 3 - 4 minutes apart, and I only found them manageable by standing up or kneeling up again something for support. I was certain that I was in early labour, and deperately didnt want to go to the hospital to get told to go home again. However, I was finding it hard, and I felt that I needed to know how far along I was. I think because I was tired that I was a bit worked up, and I just didnt feel safe where I was.
So Dean rang the Delivery Suite and said we wanted to come in for a check. We arrived at Hinchingbrooke at about 3.15am. My contractions slowed down in frequency on the drive over, so that they were every 5 minutes.
The midwife we were met by at the Delivery Suite, I didnt really bond with. I found her a bit patronising and sceptical. We were put in a room and she did the usual checks. I had a couple of contractions while I was there, but they had slowed dramatically in terms of their frequency. She checked to see if I was dilated, and I was absolutely gutted when she checked me and said that I was only 2cm, and so not even in active labour yet! She told us to go for a walk around the hospital for half an hour. So Dean and I walked the circuit of the 1st floor which wasnt very big but took us a while, as every time I got a contraction I had to stop. They were very strong at this point.
We went back to the room and the midwife told me to rest, gave me some paracetamol and said to try and get a bit of sleep. I was feeling really down, starting to panic that if this was only pre-labour, how on earth was I going to cope when it kicked off properly? I was worried that Dean might think I was a total whimp and I just felt a bit let down by myself.
At about 6am the midwife came back and said that because I wasnt in active labour that it was better if I moved off the delivery suite. So my options were either to go back home or to go onto another ward and wait for it to kick in, but Dean wouldnt be able to stay with me. There was no way in the world I wanted to be sat in a room on my own, or on a ward with a load of other people while I was going through early labour. I said I would go home, and midwife said to 'come back when the contractions were closer together and were stronger'. She almost sounded amused at the way she said this and it didnt really help my feelings of despondancy about not being able to cope. We drove home and went to bed to try and get some sleep.
I found it almost impossible to sleep as everytime i dropped off, I was woken up by a very painful contraction. I was still feeling low and had a bit of a cry.
Between about 9-10am we were woken up by the front door bell, as our friends' son who we pay to mow the grass had arrived. Dean went downstairs for a while to sort him out and do some other things. He came back up a while later and just sat with me as I was having contractions. At this point I wasnt sure what he was thinking as I thought he might just be narked at having lost a nights sleep for no reason. I was really low at this point of the labour and just felt like I was failing at it.
At about 11am while Im laid on the bed, half naked, having contractions our grass mower boy came upstairs to use the loo, and then came to the door to have a conversation with Dean about getting a drink. I was pretty upset that I wasnt having the privacy which I felt I needed.
I got up at about midday and went downstairs for some lunch. Dean tried suggesting things which he thought might help me, and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed, and we tried to go around the garden but i didnt feel comfortable doing that, as our neighbours were in their back gardens and I just didnt want people to see me moaning in pain!
So we decided to drive up to Ashton Manor House to have a wander through the gardens there. Of course, on the way we ran into two more people that we knew and wanted to stop to talk. I was beginning to think that everyone in Ashton would have seen me in the undignified throes of labour before it was all over!
We walked around the manor house, though of course kept having to stop for me to clutch to Dean for support during the contractions. I did get a bit upset again at this point.
I had also been getting, throughout labour a pain which went all the way down my right leg, and was constant and made walking difficult. It was like a constant leg cramp and almost more painful than the contractions themselves. The worst thing about the leg pain was that it was constant, while at least the contractions came and went!
We went back home. Dean went outside to talk to lawn mower boy who was back to finish the lawn. While he was gone I had 3 very very strong contractions in the living room. The only position I felt at all manageable in, was kneeling over the sofa. I was so relieved when Dean walked back into the house as I felt I needed constant support at this point. I think Dean must have realised how difficult I was finding it, as he went to ring the hospital without telling me. The midwife (a different one this time) again said if I wanted to go in I could. I was so scared of being sent home again that I just didnt want to. Dean suggested that I take a bath first and the midwife said to try that and call back in an hour.
Dean ran the bath and as I sat in it, the contractions kept coming in waves. They were pretty overwhelming - they didnt feel particularly stronger than before but I didnt feel like I was getting much space between them. Between them, I was also trying to deal with the constant growing pain in my leg. Dean came and sat in the bathroom with me, and timed the contractions. The timings were generally about 3 - 4 minutes apart, with the contractions lasting for about a minute. However, I was also getting some shorter intermittent contractions, so there still didnt seem to be a pattern. Because of this, I was convinced that I had probably only dilated to about 3cm, and needed to hold out a while longer.
Dean decided to ring the hospital again, I dont think I was very communicative at this point as I was just concentrating on breathing through the contractions. They really felt like someone was squeezing me around my tummy and lower back - it was pretty intense. All I kept saying to Dean was that I didn't 'want to have to be sent home again'.
Dean spoke to the midwife, and the midwife could obviously also hear the noise I was making during the contractions. She got the information from Dean about the timings of my contractions, and from that she thought that I was still in early labour, and possibly just unfortunately having a particularly difficult & painful early labour. She suggested that I was taken in for a morphine injection, which would either stop the labour or speed it up and kick-start active labour, and either way, I would have some relief from the pain and time to gain my energy (I had been having contractions for 24 hours at this point!)
Dean helped me out of the bath and to the car. The contractions continued to come every 3 minutes, so it took a while to be able to get there. All the way to the hospital the contractions continued to come. It was incredibly painful in the car, sitting down was about the worst possible position. Every time one came I was lifting myself off the seat in pain, and I knew I was making a lot of noise but couldnt help it! I was also worrying between contractions about how on earth I was going to get from the car to the delivery suite, as it is a fair walk.
We pulled up in the car park and started to walk towards the hospital entrance. We were within sight of the entrance when a contraction started. I felt like a complete cliche as I was stood clinging onto Dean, trying to breath my way through this contraction. I could see an ambulance driver had come out of A&E and had spotted me, and he yelled at us that he would get a chair, and then he rushed off. Another man walked past and asked Dean if he wanted a hand to get me inside. Luckily the ambulance man appeared with a wheelchair, loaded me into it, and proceeded to take us the quick 'staff only' short cut through A&E. As my next contraction started he was cheerfully shouting 'Breathe through it, remember your antenatal classes!' and then was asking Dean how far apart the contractions were, and he cheerfully replied that it sounds like we were well on our way.
He 'drove' me to the lift, and then he had to get back to his ambulance, so he left Dean to push the chair the last section to Delivery Suite. When we got out of the lift on the first floor though, I told Dean that I wanted to get out of the chair because I didnt want to arrive looking like a whimp when I was still only in pre-labour. So we abandoned the wheelchair and I walked the last couple of corridors to Delivery.
When we got there, a lady at reception showed us straight into a room. Funnily enough, it was the room which we had seen when we had taken a tour of the Delivery Suite. It was a lovely big room with an en suite (only 2 rooms on Delivery had en suite so we were very lucky).
My memory of exactly what happened in what order here is a bit confused as I was having difficulty focusing on what was being said etc.
I remember Eileen coming in and introducing herself as my midwife. From the second she came in the door I really liked her, and felt really safe being with her. She saw me going through a couple of contractions and offered me gas and air for the pain. I accepted it as I felt I did need something to take the edge off. We showed her our birth plan and she said that everything on there was nice and straightforward, and there was no problem with me using the birthing pool, as soon as I was beyond 4cm dilated.
So Eileen then checked to see how dilated I was - I was so nervous because I was getting ready to be told that I was still only 2cm. But she checked, and then cheerfully said ' Oh my goodness, you are 5-6cm, definitely ready to go into the birthing pool!' I was sooooooooo relieved and surprised... although the gas and air was taking the edge off my contractions, they suddenly became a bit easier to deal with because I really felt my spirits rise knowing that I had been in active labour for a while, and I wasnt a complete whimp!
Eileen and Dean double checked with me that I still wanted to use the birthing pool. For a brief second I was very tempted to say that i just wanted an epidural instead! But I felt that I wanted to stick to my birth plan and at least give the pool a go - especially as I was very lucky that it was free and I had the option of using it.
Eileen went to run the birthing pool, which she said would take half an hour. She brought us some tea and biscuits to eat, and me a birthing ball to sit on (because I couldnt bear to be on the bed). Dean and I had a bit of light hearted conversation and he ate a sandwich which he had in his bag! and took some (very unflattering!) photos, I really did feel so much more light hearted knowing that I had progressed.
I was happily saying that at least this time, we would be leaving the hospital with a baby, and that it looked like he would either be born on the last day of May or the first day of June. I asked Dean when he thought he would arrive and he said he thought it would be after midnight, therefore, June 1st.
We had been joking with the midwife though, because she had said that she had only delivered girls that day, and if I had my baby before she went off shift (at 9.30pm) she would get a boy! As it was after 7pm when she said this, it didnt seem likely, and I remember being a little bit disappointed that this midwife who I liked so much, would not be the one to see the labour through.
I do also remember starting to tell Dean off a few times at this point - the main crime I remember is that he tried to talk to me during a contraction... so afterwards I made it clear that anything said during a contraction (other than 'breathe') I could not hear!
The half hour to fill the pool seemed to pass fairly quickly. The birthing pool was at the other end of the Delivery Suite, so I was helped to walk up the corridor. The relief at getting in the pool was immense, obviously the pain didnt go away, but I just felt so much more comfortable, which made a big difference to my calmness and ability to relax as much as possible through the contractions, which was crucial. Dean put my Milla Jovovich CD on, and between contractions, everything felt serene and calm.
Memories of my time in the pool are rather cloudy and muddled. I remember saying that I wanted to go to the toilet, and Dean calling the midwife back and her telling me that it was just the baby putting pressure on my bottom. I suddenly felt the contractions go to a new level, I didnt know whether Dean could tell that suddenly the pain was bigger than before, but I suddenly felt intuitively that the baby would be born fairly soon, and was mildly worried at any point that the midwife wasnt in the room.
Eileen came back in to listen to the babys heartbeat, and to check my progression again. Babys hearbeat was nice and strong. When she put on her long gloves to check my cervix, I was amazed when she announced that I was nearly 10 cm! She said there was just a tiny rim of cervix left, and then I would be fully dilated. It all seemed to have happened very quickly - indeed, i seemed to go from 5/6cm - 9/10cm in less than 2 hours.
I then remember people talking, and someone offering me a drink of juice. When i gave the juice back it wasnt Eileen or Dean I saw but someone else (I had my eyes closed a lot at this point, as I was focusing fairly strongly). This turned out to be Kim who had come to observe the water birth.
Suddenly the pressure in my bottom was immense and I felt it build up massively, and suddenly there was this explosion. It really sounded like something had exploded underwater - and it really did feel like huge pop inside of me - of course which was my waters breaking.
The pressure in my bottom initially eased when my waters went, but then got much stronger after this. After a while though the contractions changed, and they werent really contractions anymore - I couldnt tell as easily where they began and ended. At this point Eileen told me it was time to start pushing. She told me to put away the gas and air for the pushing part -something I had not thought about when I decided to labour using just the pool and gas&air was that I wouldnt be able to use it during the pushing stage. Funnily though, at the time I didnt question her at all, she said to put it down and I just handed it over. I had complete faith in what she was telling me to do.
I changed position in the pool for the pushing stage. Eileen wanted me to open my pelus as far as possible (which makes sense but at the time Im not sure I wanted to!) Dean was now knelt behind me, lent over the side of the pool, giving me support to stay upright. At every push, he was taking a lot of the strain as i was bearing down. After a while my arm completely went numb from the pressure of me resting on him. At around the same time, my right leg which had been so painful started to get the shakes - all of these extra things were very distracting from my focusing!!!
Pushing was strange, as it wasnt how I imagined it to be. It was far more intense and took a momentum of its own. As i would start a push, my body would suddenly kick in and help it along. Towards the end of each push it really hurt though, so I really had to push through the pain. I remember Eileen telling me when I had almost got him past my pelvic bone, and I knew from antenatal class that was (supposedly!) the hardest part of the pushing. The feeling of him moving down the birth canal was so intense though. I really could feel his body physically moving down my birth canal, and myself being pushed apart and separating as he came down. It was really stinging, which I remember telling Eileen, and she was very encouraging and kept telling me that was just the sensation of him moving down.
At this point though I decided I didnt want to push anymore, it was hurting so much and felt so strange. So there was a small debate between me and Eileen as I was telling her I didnt want to push anymore! Obviously though, she and Dean managed to get me going again!
Kim was holding a mirror in the pool so I could look down and see what was happening. When they could see his head start to appear, they were trying to get me to look - but that involved opening my eyes and I just couldnt do that, i needed them shut to try and focus and almost shut out everything which was going on!
I remember being told to look down though as his head was crowning, and being told that I needed to give another little push to free his chin, which was still stuck inside me. Looking down and seeing this little human head emerging from me was so bizarre, it was almost surreal.
Obviously everyone knew that a couple more big pushes and he would be free, so I did as I was told and really put my energies into it, despite the fact it went against every urge I had at that moment - it was hurting and burning so much.
It was bizarre the second he was born - the pain was massive, absolutely huge. But I was distracted by the sight of Eileen lifting the baby from the pool. The cord was round his neck I think, so there was a brief fumbling as she unravelled it and clamped it before passing him to me. Then there was this baby in my arms who looked huge to me! He was so quiet though, that all I could ask was 'is he ok' but Eileen seemed to think he was perfect. We had a couple of photos taken with him in the pool, and I was being told to keep his body underwater to keep him warm, but my head was buzzing and my body was really hurting.
Dean cut the cord, and then they took the baby away for checks and Dean went over with him to cuddle him etc.
They started emptying the pool, and saying that they needed to get me out to deliver the placenta. I was saying to Eileen that I was in a lot of pain and asking her 'Did I tear?' She said she didnt know, but she would check me to find out.
She and Kim helped me out of the pool and over the futon bed at the other side of the room. I was propped up with cushions with my legs open (but covered with a sheet) ready to be checked and deliver the placenta. The placenta was delivered very quickly, I was worried it was going to hurt, but with all the other pain i was in, it was over very quickly and I barely registered it.
Eileen checked me over, and told me that I did have some damage and tears which would need repair. She said she would go and find someone to do it. I was in a lot of pain, so she gave me the gas& air to use while I was waiting. At this point I was fairly low, because I was really hurting and I couldnt hold our baby properly or enjoy the moment. Dean was holding the baby for a while, then he put him down and came and just sat with me for a while, and then he asked me if I wanted to have the baby next to me, and so brought him over.
No one had been to do my stitches so I asked Dean to find out what was happening. Eileen came back after a while and told us that she had just been told that because I had had a water birth, they needed to wait for everything to dry out and so I needed to wait an hour before having my stitches done. Looking at the clock I had been waiting the best part of an hour already anyway, so I figured I could hold on a bit longer.
However, another hour went by and still no one had been to do my stitches. I was in so much pain, the gas&air was taking the edge off but that was all. I kept telling Dean how much it hurt, especially as I had also been left sat on this very uncomfortable futon bed, sat on my bottom. Dean kept going off to find people to ask, but there were so many other women giving birth, that I was placed as low priority on the list.
After three hours of waiting, someone finally came to take me to have my stitches done. I was supported to walk down the corridor to our orginal room. I was terrified at this point, as I was in immense pain, I was shaking as they put me in the stirrups. I was given gas& air again to use while they administered the injections to numb the area.
I tried to not listen to what they were saying as they were examining me. I had been told the tears were big and so i was going to be given a fair few injections. The lady sewing me up, Kim, started. After about 90 minutes she paused and started talking to me, saying that I had 4 tears, and she had just mended the two in my perineum, but I had two labial tears as well which she was going to start on. She was suggesting to us that my tears were some of the worst she had sutured, and she didnt normally need to use two suture packs on one persons injuries. I got very upset and emotional at this point, and was crying while Dean tried to console me and and Kim gave me a few minutes to recover. I just felt like a pin cushion, I now understood why it had hurt so much at the final pushing stage, i was angry they have left me for 3 hours in pain when I was so badly torn, I was upset that it felt like I had been denied of some of the pleasure of having a baby because I hadnt been able to hold my baby for 3 hours while I waited to be sewn.
She went to sew my least tears, but unfortunately the local injections werent 100% effective because the area is so full of nerve endings, so I was sucking on the gas&air as she sewed those tears up, because I could feel her sewing and it really hurt. When she said she had finished, I was so relieved, she gave me some painkillers, and I rolled onto my side to be more comfortable.
We still had to wait about another hour before someone came to weigh the baby (no one had done that yet!) or show me how to breastfeed. I was worried that I hadnt had enough skin-to-skin contact or breastfeed quickly enough after delivery. I finally felt able to relax when at about 4am, a care assistant came in and weighed the baby and gave him to me for some skin-to-skin contact. I finally was able to be close to our son. I felt that the ordeal was finally over, I was going to be transferred onto Hazel Ward for recovery, but I think I was probably already hoping that I would be able to go home soon.
SO thats the story… in retrospect the birth itself was an azamzing experience and I am so grateful to the 3 key people who were there supporting me – Dean, Eileen and Kim. They were all wonderful and through the last stages of labour, I felt as relaxed and supported as anyone could hope to be.
I was really sad that the immediate aftercare took away some of the joy of the experience, and it has certainly raised a lot of points of concern for me, in case of the next time we get pregnant.
Thankfully, regardless of some of the minor challenges, it hasnt affected my relationship with our son. He is a beautiful, lovely little individual and giving birth to him will probably be the proudest moment of my life.
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Oren joins us..............
Daddy B's version of events leading up to and including the birth of our gorgeous son Oren.
First flutters in my stomach came Friday afternoon (30th May) when Steph told me at work that something seemed to be happening and she wasn't sure but she thought contractions had started. No panicked drive home or even rush to get home but finished up and headed home as normal.
Friday evening was spent wondering is this isn't this whilst having to watch mummy in obvious discomfort each time a contraction came. Tried timing them but they were irregular intervals so by all the advice given this meant it wasn't happening.
We tried going to bed to sleep but to no avail and finally rang the delivery suite at about 1.30am Saturday morning to be told to come in and they would have a look at mummy. So with excitement building off we went to the hospital..........
Got there about 2.40 and after Steph being checked couple of times we were told we might as well go home as she was only 2cm :-( so off home we went a little deflated and I was quite troubled as mummy was obviously in alot of pain each time she had contraction!! these were still coming every 5 to 8 mins although had slowed at hospital to about 10 mins apart....
So home we went and attempted to get as much rest as possible, mummy was by now in alot of pain each time contraction came added to which shooting pains in her leg and bum was hurting her because of the way Oren was laying in her.
About 3 o'clock we decided to go for a walk, as green in village was busy we decided to drive down to the Mansion and walk around there as it is always deserted. We walked around the mansion for about 50mins taking it very slowly and with it becoming obvious the pains were increasing in intensity. They were now at between 4 and 7 mins apart and lasting for between 50 secs and 1min 15. we got back to the house and mummy's pains continued to cause her alot of pain and distress, at about 5 o'clock I called the hospital again. After speaking to me they spoke to Steph it was decided she would have a bath and we were to ring them again within the hour.(only later were we to find out why they get you to do this)
So we promptly put mummy into the bath (it was heart wrenching to see her in so much pain her leg was actually hurting her constantly and more than the contractions) By now i am feeling a whole raft of emotions, from concern worry for mummy to impatience for the next phase to excitement to sudden panic about fact i was imminently to become a dad.
I was still timing the contractions and continued to do so whilst mummy was in the bath, now they were running every 3 - 6 minutes and between 1 and 1 and half minutes in length. And without shadow of a doubt they were strong and very painful.
So about 5.45 we ring the delivery suite again with contractions still not regular but extremely strong. Understandably delivery suite were sceptical but again very nice very reassuring, they said to come in and they would give mummy some pain killers and put her on hazel ward so she could get a good nights sleep!!! I was still convinced things were happening but confused due to the irregular nature of the contractions!
We got to the hospital at about 6.40pm and were put into a delivery room ( funnily one of the only 2 on suite rooms that we wanted to try and get into) After couple of minutes very nice midwife by the name of Eileen introduced herself (little did we know how much we would owe this lovely lady by end of the evening)who instantly made me feel alot calmer. (I was at this point feeling like my nerves were frayed and really wanted mummy to not be in so much pain)
Eileen watched and timed one contraction through and then was talking to us about pain relief and what had we considered, mummy pointed out we had birth plan typed up and Eileen read that. We mentioned again we wanted to use the birthing pool and she explained that to be certain of not stopping labour if it had started mummy needed to be dilated at least 5cm. By this time she had watched another contraction start and had got mummy to breath through it to help with the pain. It suddenly dawned on me that Eileen wasn't thinking for one minute we ere having pain killing injection and mummy getting nights sleep on the ward. Sheer panic filled me with the realisation this was it we were having a baby NOW. Eileen timed yet another contraction and then said she thought she should examine mummy, she did the examination to the announce mummy was 6cm dilated.
I realised Eileen's earlier chat had been to keep things calm now she was asking questions about birth plan again and just checking she understood mummy's preferences she also made joke that she finished at 9.30 so baby needed to be born by 8.30. Also jokingly she said it would be good to deliver a boy as
she had been on a run of girls lately. When we clarified the desire for the poll she said she best get it running then otherwise might not get to use it. This lady had now made me feel extremely calm. Looking back now I am amazed how calm I actually was throughout the next couple of hours and all thanks to Eileen. After clarifying full desires regarding the pool she said she best get move on as takes 30mins to fill it. She returned after only minute with a birthing ball which she said steph might like to use whilst waiting. I will never forget the image of steph sitting on a silver birthing ball chugging on gas and air!!!
First flutters in my stomach came Friday afternoon (30th May) when Steph told me at work that something seemed to be happening and she wasn't sure but she thought contractions had started. No panicked drive home or even rush to get home but finished up and headed home as normal.
Friday evening was spent wondering is this isn't this whilst having to watch mummy in obvious discomfort each time a contraction came. Tried timing them but they were irregular intervals so by all the advice given this meant it wasn't happening.
We tried going to bed to sleep but to no avail and finally rang the delivery suite at about 1.30am Saturday morning to be told to come in and they would have a look at mummy. So with excitement building off we went to the hospital..........
Got there about 2.40 and after Steph being checked couple of times we were told we might as well go home as she was only 2cm :-( so off home we went a little deflated and I was quite troubled as mummy was obviously in alot of pain each time she had contraction!! these were still coming every 5 to 8 mins although had slowed at hospital to about 10 mins apart....
So home we went and attempted to get as much rest as possible, mummy was by now in alot of pain each time contraction came added to which shooting pains in her leg and bum was hurting her because of the way Oren was laying in her.
About 3 o'clock we decided to go for a walk, as green in village was busy we decided to drive down to the Mansion and walk around there as it is always deserted. We walked around the mansion for about 50mins taking it very slowly and with it becoming obvious the pains were increasing in intensity. They were now at between 4 and 7 mins apart and lasting for between 50 secs and 1min 15. we got back to the house and mummy's pains continued to cause her alot of pain and distress, at about 5 o'clock I called the hospital again. After speaking to me they spoke to Steph it was decided she would have a bath and we were to ring them again within the hour.(only later were we to find out why they get you to do this)
So we promptly put mummy into the bath (it was heart wrenching to see her in so much pain her leg was actually hurting her constantly and more than the contractions) By now i am feeling a whole raft of emotions, from concern worry for mummy to impatience for the next phase to excitement to sudden panic about fact i was imminently to become a dad.
I was still timing the contractions and continued to do so whilst mummy was in the bath, now they were running every 3 - 6 minutes and between 1 and 1 and half minutes in length. And without shadow of a doubt they were strong and very painful.
So about 5.45 we ring the delivery suite again with contractions still not regular but extremely strong. Understandably delivery suite were sceptical but again very nice very reassuring, they said to come in and they would give mummy some pain killers and put her on hazel ward so she could get a good nights sleep!!! I was still convinced things were happening but confused due to the irregular nature of the contractions!
We got to the hospital at about 6.40pm and were put into a delivery room ( funnily one of the only 2 on suite rooms that we wanted to try and get into) After couple of minutes very nice midwife by the name of Eileen introduced herself (little did we know how much we would owe this lovely lady by end of the evening)who instantly made me feel alot calmer. (I was at this point feeling like my nerves were frayed and really wanted mummy to not be in so much pain)
Eileen watched and timed one contraction through and then was talking to us about pain relief and what had we considered, mummy pointed out we had birth plan typed up and Eileen read that. We mentioned again we wanted to use the birthing pool and she explained that to be certain of not stopping labour if it had started mummy needed to be dilated at least 5cm. By this time she had watched another contraction start and had got mummy to breath through it to help with the pain. It suddenly dawned on me that Eileen wasn't thinking for one minute we ere having pain killing injection and mummy getting nights sleep on the ward. Sheer panic filled me with the realisation this was it we were having a baby NOW. Eileen timed yet another contraction and then said she thought she should examine mummy, she did the examination to the announce mummy was 6cm dilated.
I realised Eileen's earlier chat had been to keep things calm now she was asking questions about birth plan again and just checking she understood mummy's preferences she also made joke that she finished at 9.30 so baby needed to be born by 8.30. Also jokingly she said it would be good to deliver a boy as
she had been on a run of girls lately. When we clarified the desire for the poll she said she best get it running then otherwise might not get to use it. This lady had now made me feel extremely calm. Looking back now I am amazed how calm I actually was throughout the next couple of hours and all thanks to Eileen. After clarifying full desires regarding the pool she said she best get move on as takes 30mins to fill it. She returned after only minute with a birthing ball which she said steph might like to use whilst waiting. I will never forget the image of steph sitting on a silver birthing ball chugging on gas and air!!!Eileen kept checking on us over next 30mins whil
st pool was filling up and then we were moved to the pool room. This consisted on a large room with pallet cd player moses basket etc etc adjoined to the room containing the birthing pool. We got all our stuff organised in the room and CD's at the ready as mummy prepared to get into the pool.
st pool was filling up and then we were moved to the pool room. This consisted on a large room with pallet cd player moses basket etc etc adjoined to the room containing the birthing pool. We got all our stuff organised in the room and CD's at the ready as mummy prepared to get into the pool. The pool did seem to have an instant effect,obviously not stopping the pain but certainly helping to ease it slightly. 
SO mummy was set laying in the pool gas and air cylinder for her to use as and when (and at this point it was most of the time) Eileen was calmly giving mummy instructions on how to use the gas and air for maximum effect.
I picked one of the CD's mummy had bought with her, Milla Jovovich Divine Comedy Album. So with this playing in the background I settled down by the side of the pool to support as best I could. Eileen the ever present midwife would keep talking to Steph through each contraction giving her advice on how to breath how to get most of gas and air etc etc. AT this point I was feeling slightly detached, and my role consisted of holding the mouth piece for gas and air and passing it when needed and to keep talking to steph not a great deal more. I was feeling a bit lost at this point and to make it worse the contractions had definately become alot more frequent and alot stronger. I feel I was as supportive as i coild be and keeping steph focused on her breathing and use of gas as per Eileens advice.
It was now about 8.00 and we had been joined by one of the assistants Kim and things settled into a routine for a while with contractions coming evry 3 to 4 minutes. Kim bought steph a jug of iced squash which i think steph felt was absolute god send as her throat was very dry for the gas and air usage.
I was aware of Eileen coming and going but without any real knowledge of what was happening, I was also aware that time was ticking on and felt a dread of suddenly having Eileen leave and a new midwife we didnt know take over. Between contractions I had been generally chatting to Eileen and Knew she had worked in Canada for 8 years had been a midwife for 17 years. ( she had also worked in Scotland before moving south did 18months in hospital in Surry but had been at Hinchingbrook for last 6 years)
At about 8.10 eileen checked steph and announced she was almost 10cm and things were ready to start about 5 minutes late steph suddenly cried out in pain not associated with contraction, the water in pool was suddenly disturbed and I realised that her waters had broken with quite a gush!!
Eileen seemed to suddenly move up a gear although was still her very calming influence. I felt a cold dread as birth was now immenent but this was quickly replaced but excitement and again a sort of detachment. As Eileen went up a gear it seemed to rub off on me and I became very focused on steph and what we needed to do.
Im not sure if it was ever said but i came to realise Eileen intended to saty with us till Oren was born and I felt an immense sense of relief. ( For that I will always be greatful but also we came to realise afterwards that if she hadnt then steph would have been made to leave the pool to give birth as we needed 2 midwifes in attendance to birth in the pool)
Steph changed positions in the pool as the last stage of labour was entered and i adopted a position that had me leaning over the edge of the pool with my arms under stephs armpits and acround her, giving her support but also for want of better term a strain bar for her. ( shortly this position became painful but i didnt dare say anything as i realised whatever pain i might be feeling steph was feeling hundred times more!!!)
We were now into the period where oren was making his way into the world. To start with the contractions seemed to have changed again and steph was still being allowed to use gas and air. Eileen was telling her to resist pushing with the contractions and let Oren do the work. Occasionally she would check her and give us updates on how near he was. At about 9.25 she announced he was almost there and it was almost time for steph to start pushing, then she promptly disappeared. She was quickly back with another midwife who was introduced to us as sarah. At this point my brain really was mush so some of the order of the loast 40mins is probably wrong but here goes.
SO mummy was set laying in the pool gas and air cylinder for her to use as and when (and at this point it was most of the time) Eileen was calmly giving mummy instructions on how to use the gas and air for maximum effect.I picked one of the CD's mummy had bought with her, Milla Jovovich Divine Comedy Album. So with this playing in the background I settled down by the side of the pool to support as best I could. Eileen the ever present midwife would keep talking to Steph through each contraction giving her advice on how to breath how to get most of gas and air etc etc. AT this point I was feeling slightly detached, and my role consisted of holding the mouth piece for gas and air and passing it when needed and to keep talking to steph not a great deal more. I was feeling a bit lost at this point and to make it worse the contractions had definately become alot more frequent and alot stronger. I feel I was as supportive as i coild be and keeping steph focused on her breathing and use of gas as per Eileens advice.
It was now about 8.00 and we had been joined by one of the assistants Kim and things settled into a routine for a while with contractions coming evry 3 to 4 minutes. Kim bought steph a jug of iced squash which i think steph felt was absolute god send as her throat was very dry for the gas and air usage.
I was aware of Eileen coming and going but without any real knowledge of what was happening, I was also aware that time was ticking on and felt a dread of suddenly having Eileen leave and a new midwife we didnt know take over. Between contractions I had been generally chatting to Eileen and Knew she had worked in Canada for 8 years had been a midwife for 17 years. ( she had also worked in Scotland before moving south did 18months in hospital in Surry but had been at Hinchingbrook for last 6 years)
At about 8.10 eileen checked steph and announced she was almost 10cm and things were ready to start about 5 minutes late steph suddenly cried out in pain not associated with contraction, the water in pool was suddenly disturbed and I realised that her waters had broken with quite a gush!!
Eileen seemed to suddenly move up a gear although was still her very calming influence. I felt a cold dread as birth was now immenent but this was quickly replaced but excitement and again a sort of detachment. As Eileen went up a gear it seemed to rub off on me and I became very focused on steph and what we needed to do.
Im not sure if it was ever said but i came to realise Eileen intended to saty with us till Oren was born and I felt an immense sense of relief. ( For that I will always be greatful but also we came to realise afterwards that if she hadnt then steph would have been made to leave the pool to give birth as we needed 2 midwifes in attendance to birth in the pool)
Steph changed positions in the pool as the last stage of labour was entered and i adopted a position that had me leaning over the edge of the pool with my arms under stephs armpits and acround her, giving her support but also for want of better term a strain bar for her. ( shortly this position became painful but i didnt dare say anything as i realised whatever pain i might be feeling steph was feeling hundred times more!!!)
We were now into the period where oren was making his way into the world. To start with the contractions seemed to have changed again and steph was still being allowed to use gas and air. Eileen was telling her to resist pushing with the contractions and let Oren do the work. Occasionally she would check her and give us updates on how near he was. At about 9.25 she announced he was almost there and it was almost time for steph to start pushing, then she promptly disappeared. She was quickly back with another midwife who was introduced to us as sarah. At this point my brain really was mush so some of the order of the loast 40mins is probably wrong but here goes.
Steph was now told she had to leave the gas and focus on pushing, this was a surprise as i didnt realise she was going to have that pain relief removed. I was heavily focused on stephs movements and contractions and this point and talking her through each one getting her to breath and then to push as i felt the contractions start ( yes I could feel them build up in her and then start) and times it felt like there was just the 2 of us in there so focused did i become.
At some point Eileen said he is starting to come out and a mirror was produced which was then held so both of us could see the top of his head just trying to come through. I was fascinated and couldnt take my eyes off and watched each time steph was pushing as this little head got closer and closer to being out. Eileen was now fully focused on stpeh as well and was constantly checking her and the pair of us talking steph through each contraction. Kim now took over the holding of the mirror for us ( even though at some point it became apparent I was only one watching)
Sarah was now replaced by another midwife also called Kim. Mummy was now in immense pain each time she had to push, time had lost all meaning and i wasnt aware how long she had been pushing for. AT every push I was watching the head start to crown in the mirror calling on steph to kep pushing and then to breath. I can remember the almost constant chant of push steph push dont waste energy steph no noise just push hold you breath and push through it. Then the breath steph relax. Millimetre by millimetre the top of a head was coming through covered in a faint covering of brown hair.
At some point Steph was so fatigued between every contraction she was convinced she couldnt do anymore and kept repeating " I cant do it I cant do it" but each time a contraction came I kept egging here on willing her on and she kept finding the energy reserves to push again and again. I was so proud of her through out for the way she didnt complain and just kept doing as she was told.
All of of a sudden his head seemed to really be showing through and the tops of his ears were visible, steph was in such agony and saying its burning its burning. Through all of this I was feeling such conflicting emotions concerned for steph distress at the pain she was in but at the same time and elation of seeing my son born and an excitement of holding him in my arms. Again thanks to Eileen and her wonderful manner not once was I concerned for Stephs or Orens well being.
Finally with steph screaming in agony Eileen shouting encouragements me calling on her to make one last effort ( for about the 10th time) Oren came in this world.
Steph collapsed into my arms in relief I was simpy stunned it was over my son was here. Eileen gently clamped the umbilical chord and put him on stephs chest It was 10.06pm. He let out a faint mewing noise which then became a cry but that quickly stopped.
A couple of pictures were taken and then it was time to cut the chord, in the birth plan we had mentioned I would like to be offered the opportunity to cut the chord if possible, again credit to Eileen I was even thinking about that but she remembered we had asked for that to happen and started giving me instructions on what i had to do. She handed me the scissors and gently held the chord on the flat of her hand for me to cut, I was again feeling slightly detached and it all felt a bit surreal, but then i cut the chord my son was screaming and then he was taken to be quickly checked over.My son had been born and i was over the moon and had tears of joy in my eyes.
I will continue the events of that evening in another entry for various reasons
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