Our little man: Oren joins us..............

Daddy B's version of events leading up to and including the birth of our gorgeous son Oren.

First flutters in my stomach came Friday afternoon (30th May) when Steph told me at work that something seemed to be happening and she wasn't sure but she thought contractions had started. No panicked drive home or even rush to get home but finished up and headed home as normal.

Friday evening was spent wondering is this isn't this whilst having to watch mummy in obvious discomfort each time a contraction came. Tried timing them but they were irregular intervals so by all the advice given this meant it wasn't happening.

We tried going to bed to sleep but to no avail and finally rang the delivery suite at about 1.30am Saturday morning to be told to come in and they would have a look at mummy. So with excitement building off we went to the hospital..........

Got there about 2.40 and after Steph being checked couple of times we were told we might as well go home as she was only 2cm :-( so off home we went a little deflated and I was quite troubled as mummy was obviously in alot of pain each time she had contraction!! these were still coming every 5 to 8 mins although had slowed at hospital to about 10 mins apart....

So home we went and attempted to get as much rest as possible, mummy was by now in alot of pain each time contraction came added to which shooting pains in her leg and bum was hurting her because of the way Oren was laying in her.

About 3 o'clock we decided to go for a walk, as green in village was busy we decided to drive down to the Mansion and walk around there as it is always deserted. We walked around the mansion for about 50mins taking it very slowly and with it becoming obvious the pains were increasing in intensity. They were now at between 4 and 7 mins apart and lasting for between 50 secs and 1min 15. we got back to the house and mummy's pains continued to cause her alot of pain and distress, at about 5 o'clock I called the hospital again. After speaking to me they spoke to Steph it was decided she would have a bath and we were to ring them again within the hour.(only later were we to find out why they get you to do this)

So we promptly put mummy into the bath (it was heart wrenching to see her in so much pain her leg was actually hurting her constantly and more than the contractions) By now i am feeling a whole raft of emotions, from concern worry for mummy to impatience for the next phase to excitement to sudden panic about fact i was imminently to become a dad.

I was still timing the contractions and continued to do so whilst mummy was in the bath, now they were running every 3 - 6 minutes and between 1 and 1 and half minutes in length. And without shadow of a doubt they were strong and very painful.

So about 5.45 we ring the delivery suite again with contractions still not regular but extremely strong. Understandably delivery suite were sceptical but again very nice very reassuring, they said to come in and they would give mummy some pain killers and put her on hazel ward so she could get a good nights sleep!!! I was still convinced things were happening but confused due to the irregular nature of the contractions!

We got to the hospital at about 6.40pm and were put into a delivery room ( funnily one of the only 2 on suite rooms that we wanted to try and get into) After couple of minutes very nice midwife by the name of Eileen introduced herself (little did we know how much we would owe this lovely lady by end of the evening)who instantly made me feel alot calmer. (I was at this point feeling like my nerves were frayed and really wanted mummy to not be in so much pain)

Eileen watched and timed one contraction through and then was talking to us about pain relief and what had we considered, mummy pointed out we had birth plan typed up and Eileen read that. We mentioned again we wanted to use the birthing pool and she explained that to be certain of not stopping labour if it had started mummy needed to be dilated at least 5cm. By this time she had watched another contraction start and had got mummy to breath through it to help with the pain. It suddenly dawned on me that Eileen wasn't thinking for one minute we ere having pain killing injection and mummy getting nights sleep on the ward. Sheer panic filled me with the realisation this was it we were having a baby NOW. Eileen timed yet another contraction and then said she thought she should examine mummy, she did the examination to the announce mummy was 6cm dilated.

I realised Eileen's earlier chat had been to keep things calm now she was asking questions about birth plan again and just checking she understood mummy's preferences she also made joke that she finished at 9.30 so baby needed to be born by 8.30. Also jokingly she said it would be good to deliver a boy as

she had been on a run of girls lately. When we clarified the desire for the poll she said she best get it running then otherwise might not get to use it. This lady had now made me feel extremely calm. Looking back now I am amazed how calm I actually was throughout the next couple of hours and all thanks to Eileen. After clarifying full desires regarding the pool she said she best get move on as takes 30mins to fill it. She returned after only minute with a birthing ball which she said steph might like to use whilst waiting. I will never forget the image of steph sitting on a silver birthing ball chugging on gas and air!!!

Eileen kept checking on us over next 30mins whil

st pool was filling up and then we were moved to the pool room. This consisted on a large room with pallet cd player moses basket etc etc adjoined to the room containing the birthing pool. We got all our stuff organised in the room and CD's at the ready as mummy prepared to get into the pool.

The pool did seem to have an instant effect,obviously not stopping the pain but certainly helping to ease it slightly.

SO mummy was set laying in the pool gas and air cylinder for her to use as and when (and at this point it was most of the time) Eileen was calmly giving mummy instructions on how to use the gas and air for maximum effect.

I picked one of the CD's mummy had bought with her, Milla Jovovich Divine Comedy Album. So with this playing in the background I settled down by the side of the pool to support as best I could. Eileen the ever present midwife would keep talking to Steph through each contraction giving her advice on how to breath how to get most of gas and air etc etc. AT this point I was feeling slightly detached, and my role consisted of holding the mouth piece for gas and air and passing it when needed and to keep talking to steph not a great deal more. I was feeling a bit lost at this point and to make it worse the contractions had definately become alot more frequent and alot stronger. I feel I was as supportive as i coild be and keeping steph focused on her breathing and use of gas as per Eileens advice.

It was now about 8.00 and we had been joined by one of the assistants Kim and things settled into a routine for a while with contractions coming evry 3 to 4 minutes. Kim bought steph a jug of iced squash which i think steph felt was absolute god send as her throat was very dry for the gas and air usage.

I was aware of Eileen coming and going but without any real knowledge of what was happening, I was also aware that time was ticking on and felt a dread of suddenly having Eileen leave and a new midwife we didnt know take over. Between contractions I had been generally chatting to Eileen and Knew she had worked in Canada for 8 years had been a midwife for 17 years. ( she had also worked in Scotland before moving south did 18months in hospital in Surry but had been at Hinchingbrook for last 6 years)

At about 8.10 eileen checked steph and announced she was almost 10cm and things were ready to start about 5 minutes late steph suddenly cried out in pain not associated with contraction, the water in pool was suddenly disturbed and I realised that her waters had broken with quite a gush!!

Eileen seemed to suddenly move up a gear although was still her very calming influence. I felt a cold dread as birth was now immenent but this was quickly replaced but excitement and again a sort of detachment. As Eileen went up a gear it seemed to rub off on me and I became very focused on steph and what we needed to do.

Im not sure if it was ever said but i came to realise Eileen intended to saty with us till Oren was born and I felt an immense sense of relief. ( For that I will always be greatful but also we came to realise afterwards that if she hadnt then steph would have been made to leave the pool to give birth as we needed 2 midwifes in attendance to birth in the pool)

Steph changed positions in the pool as the last stage of labour was entered and i adopted a position that had me leaning over the edge of the pool with my arms under stephs armpits and acround her, giving her support but also for want of better term a strain bar for her. ( shortly this position became painful but i didnt dare say anything as i realised whatever pain i might be feeling steph was feeling hundred times more!!!)

We were now into the period where oren was making his way into the world. To start with the contractions seemed to have changed again and steph was still being allowed to use gas and air. Eileen was telling her to resist pushing with the contractions and let Oren do the work. Occasionally she would check her and give us updates on how near he was. At about 9.25 she announced he was almost there and it was almost time for steph to start pushing, then she promptly disappeared. She was quickly back with another midwife who was introduced to us as sarah. At this point my brain really was mush so some of the order of the loast 40mins is probably wrong but here goes.

Steph was now told she had to leave the gas and focus on pushing, this was a surprise as i didnt realise she was going to have that pain relief removed. I was heavily focused on stephs movements and contractions and this point and talking her through each one getting her to breath and then to push as i felt the contractions start ( yes I could feel them build up in her and then start) and times it felt like there was just the 2 of us in there so focused did i become.

At some point Eileen said he is starting to come out and a mirror was produced which was then held so both of us could see the top of his head just trying to come through. I was fascinated and couldnt take my eyes off and watched each time steph was pushing as this little head got closer and closer to being out. Eileen was now fully focused on stpeh as well and was constantly checking her and the pair of us talking steph through each contraction. Kim now took over the holding of the mirror for us ( even though at some point it became apparent I was only one watching)

Sarah was now replaced by another midwife also called Kim. Mummy was now in immense pain each time she had to push, time had lost all meaning and i wasnt aware how long she had been pushing for. AT every push I was watching the head start to crown in the mirror calling on steph to kep pushing and then to breath. I can remember the almost constant chant of push steph push dont waste energy steph no noise just push hold you breath and push through it. Then the breath steph relax. Millimetre by millimetre the top of a head was coming through covered in a faint covering of brown hair.

At some point Steph was so fatigued between every contraction she was convinced she couldnt do anymore and kept repeating " I cant do it I cant do it" but each time a contraction came I kept egging here on willing her on and she kept finding the energy reserves to push again and again. I was so proud of her through out for the way she didnt complain and just kept doing as she was told.

All of of a sudden his head seemed to really be showing through and the tops of his ears were visible, steph was in such agony and saying its burning its burning. Through all of this I was feeling such conflicting emotions concerned for steph distress at the pain she was in but at the same time and elation of seeing my son born and an excitement of holding him in my arms. Again thanks to Eileen and her wonderful manner not once was I concerned for Stephs or Orens well being.

Finally with steph screaming in agony Eileen shouting encouragements me calling on her to make one last effort ( for about the 10th time) Oren came in this world.

Steph collapsed into my arms in relief I was simpy stunned it was over my son was here. Eileen gently clamped the umbilical chord and put him on stephs chest It was 10.06pm. He let out a faint mewing noise which then became a cry but that quickly stopped.

A couple of pictures were taken and then it was time to cut the chord, in the birth plan we had mentioned I would like to be offered the opportunity to cut the chord if possible, again credit to Eileen I was even thinking about that but she remembered we had asked for that to happen and started giving me instructions on what i had to do. She handed me the scissors and gently held the chord on the flat of her hand for me to cut, I was again feeling slightly detached and it all felt a bit surreal, but then i cut the chord my son was screaming and then he was taken to be quickly checked over.